Jaci

Well, here I am.  I’m back. I have been AWOL. Actually I wasn’t gone just hiding. I would sneak in every so often and look around. I have all kinds of excuses…Life is really busy right now…kids are going back to school…fixing up the house after the flood…soccer season starting..(that one really is a pain we are the ones who run our local soccer association and it’s very busy now.) Lots of birthdays the last few weeks..”MY” birthday last week. YADDA YADDA YADDA.. you get the drift. Lots of stuff in my life. But the bottom line is ME.  I have lost all focus. Did I even have focus? I don’t think so. I have been flying by the seat of my pants and not doing a very good job of it.   I have done pretty good at staying off the soda.  I do have one now and then but not often at all.  So I know that I have made some progress. At least in that area. I drink water now. Something that I never ever use to do. So Yeah me for that.  That’s all I can claim though. I have not been exercising or eating very well.

I think before I can go any further I have to face my personal dragons. My eating addictions and thoughts about food.  I’m pretty sure that some one could make a fortune digging around in my head.  I know what I need to do and what I should eat but I keep sabotaging myself.  Why do I do that?  My birthday was last week. It is always a hard time for me.  I was born August 20th 1961 on my mothers 29th birthday. I have always felt closer to her because of that.  August 20th 1968 I turned 6 and Mom 35.  That was the last birthday we shared.  The next April she and my 15 yr old sister was killed in a car accident.  That day my childhood ended and my first dragon was born.  In those days Dads didn’t raise little girls alone. So I spent the next several years going from place to place. Some were good, others..not so much.  So you see, I know where some of my issues come from but I just can’t seem to get them resolved.

I keep seeing commercials and stuff advertising diet pills. They say that they will keep you from being hungry.  Are there people out there who only eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full?? I can’t even imagine such a thing. Most the time I eat it has absolutely nothing to do with being hungry.

We all have our own dragons. I don’t think any of us would be here if we didn’t.  So if someone out there knows how to tame them please let me know.  And good luck to the rest of you with your own.

I think i’ll name mine “Puff” I always loved that song. But it always makes me cry.