I’ve been hiding
Well, here I am. I’m back. I have been AWOL. Actually I wasn’t gone just hiding. I would sneak in every so often and look around. I have all kinds of excuses…Life is really busy right now…kids are going back to school…fixing up the house after the flood…soccer season starting..(that one really is a pain we are the ones who run our local soccer association and it’s very busy now.) Lots of birthdays the last few weeks..”MY” birthday last week. YADDA YADDA YADDA.. you get the drift. Lots of stuff in my life. But the bottom line is ME. I have lost all focus. Did I even have focus? I don’t think so. I have been flying by the seat of my pants and not doing a very good job of it. I have done pretty good at staying off the soda. I do have one now and then but not often at all. So I know that I have made some progress. At least in that area. I drink water now. Something that I never ever use to do. So Yeah me for that. That’s all I can claim though. I have not been exercising or eating very well.
I think before I can go any further I have to face my personal dragons. My eating addictions and thoughts about food. I’m pretty sure that some one could make a fortune digging around in my head. I know what I need to do and what I should eat but I keep sabotaging myself. Why do I do that? My birthday was last week. It is always a hard time for me. I was born August 20th 1961 on my mothers 29th birthday. I have always felt closer to her because of that. August 20th 1968 I turned 6 and Mom 35. That was the last birthday we shared. The next April she and my 15 yr old sister was killed in a car accident. That day my childhood ended and my first dragon was born. In those days Dads didn’t raise little girls alone. So I spent the next several years going from place to place. Some were good, others..not so much. So you see, I know where some of my issues come from but I just can’t seem to get them resolved.
I keep seeing commercials and stuff advertising diet pills. They say that they will keep you from being hungry. Are there people out there who only eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full?? I can’t even imagine such a thing. Most the time I eat it has absolutely nothing to do with being hungry.
We all have our own dragons. I don’t think any of us would be here if we didn’t. So if someone out there knows how to tame them please let me know. And good luck to the rest of you with your own.
I think i’ll name mine “Puff” I always loved that song. But it always makes me cry.
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Hey there!! I am new to this!! I signed up about 1 1/2 weeks ago and today is the first day I actually got some exercise in and have only had slim fast so far!! I am so sorry to hear about your mom and sister. That must have been so difficult for a little girl to go through. My heart goes out to you. I have found ( through years of battling weight issues) that once I get through the initial saying ” NO ” to one of my favorite ” bad/comfort foods ” and I make it one day, I feel so much stronger the next day. My weakness is peanut butter M&M’s and any ice cream w?chocolate and peanut butter. I will eat them even when I don’t feel like it which is so stupid. Once I have them I tell myself I have to start all over again!!I blew it!! When this happens I tell myself I will start over next week, but, I end up so much worse off because I have usually gained weight by then and have to work on not only losing the weight I already wanted to but the weight I gained by waiting until the next week!! It sometimes is a neverending battle but today… so far so good!! I will keep you in my prayers!! I know it is sooooo difficult to keep on track and sooooo easy to sabotage ourselves. Just know that there are people out there ( like me!!!) that care very much about hat you are going through and you will be in my thoughts and prayers!! We all need each other!! I’m here for ya!! Hang in there…. things WILL get better for you!!
Yes, we all have our dragons, we must slay them one by one. Hang in there. Happy belated Birthday!
Oh sweetie…
I am so sorry! That breaks my heart…I wish I could hug you…and that little girl. Wow…can’t imagine how lost you must have felt!
I will pray that God will heal every hurting part of your soul.
love you!
I missed you Jaci! Girl, you know I share your addiction to food. :). So, no more hiding. We should share our good days and bad days because you never know who’s life you touch with it. Blog it, just blog it, we will be there for you.
Happy belated birthday. Did you make brownies for yourself?
I’m sorry to hear about your loss at such a young age. You are doing an amazing job for someone who’s gone through so much.
Yes, we all have our own dragons to contend with.
You know how you fought the Pepsi addiction? You should apply the same format to your addiction to food. You can do it!
PUFFF PUFFF!
I’ve also missed you Jaci. This blog is like reading my own internal thoughts! I don’t know what we have to do to get back on track but all I’m doing right now is reaching out for support and pushing through all of it.